Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Relationships 10 Things Guys Should Do On A First Date

Ah, first dates. So nerve-wracking. If only you knew exactly what was going to happen, then you could plan out everything in advance. But first dates are kind of like playing the lottery. You gotta be in it to win it, but sometimes you end up empty-handed. If you’re a woman, you know these sort of situations don’t always go so smoothly. If you’re a guy, here are 10 tips that can make the first date easier on all of us. Take Charge. We do not want to decide where to go. We will never tell you this, but it is true. Ask us what kind of place and/or food we like; then, pick a place like that. Do not leave it up to us to choose. You are the man. Act like one.
Smile. When we arrive, smile. Maybe you are a tough guy. Maybe you are nervous. Maybe you are paralyzed. Either way, smile. Women are strange, exotic, intuitive creatures, and we respond well to positive reinforcement. Do not glower.
Mind Your Body Language. If your legs are crossed and your hand is over your mouth, we will unconsciously think you are hiding something. If you are sprawled out all over with your legs spread wide and your hands behind your head, we will think you are a slob or generally loose. Sit up straight, lean in closer, and keep your hands where we can see them.
Ask Questions. This seems obvious, but it’s surprising how many men don’t do this. You know what women like? Attention. Also, kittens, flowers, and cupcakes. Nothing else. If you seem curious about the woman sitting across from you, she will like it. For sure.
Listen. You can’t just ask a bunch of questions, and then not listen to the answers. They call this a “date,” but, really, for women, it’s more like a “test.” If you emailed or talked on the phone beforehand, remember what the hell she told you about herself. If you forget, we will feel angry and want to leave. Then you will be sorry.
Use Flattery, Appropriately. If at some point during our meeting, you tell us we are “beautiful,” “attractive,” or “pretty,” we will like you better than if you didn’t. It’s. Just. That. Simple.
Act Right, Boy. We really do not care if you are secretly neurotic, deeply insecure, or mildly nuts. We are interested in how you portray yourself. Act confident, interested, engaged, self-assured, ambitious, and happy. We like that. Thanks.
No Pawing Allowed. If you’re going to score with us at some point, we will let you know. Trust. Occasional physical contact is OK — a hand to the small of the back, a touch of the thigh, a brief holding of the arm while making a point. Do not grab anywhere in the red light zones. If we want your hands there, we will put them there.
Pay. Feminism, shmeminism. Take care of the bill without comment. That is what we want. Wave off any offer to go dutch. We lied. We don’t want to pay half.
Say Goodnight. Don’t meander off into the night. Do something. What that is is up to you: a handshake, a hug, a kiss. Do it right? You might get a second date.

The Ten Essential Ingredients for Building a Healthy Relationship

Finding love and maintaining a healthy relationship can be challenging for everyone. Experts say that you have to have a balance of love, patience and self-esteem to really make it. The following ten items are the basis for a healthy, loving relationship. Even just one person's efforts can make a big difference in a relationship. By focusing on these ten elements, your relationship is sure to thrive for years to come.
1. Honesty
Honesty is one of the most basic of all elements to any healthy relationship. A deep and loving honesty between two people says, "No matter what happens, you will always know the true me." This feeling allows couples to open up and be the best they can be with each other.
2. Forgiveness
Couples who can't make up will break up. As simple as this sounds, without forgiveness in a relationship, old hurts often resurface and neither person is truly able to let go of the past.
3. Communication
Couples need to learn how to talk through both easy and challenging issues. Disagreements are a part of every relationship. To get through them, partners have to learn to respect their different ways of communicating and "walk in their partner's shoes." This means learning how to communicate love in a way that your partner hears and feels it.

how to build an healthy relationship

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -~Sam Keen
Before I married my wonderful husband, I dated a lot of men. For most of my 20s (and even my early 30s) I had a perfect fairy-ideal of what romantic love was, probably because I was an actress and loved drama back then.
It took years for me to realize a relationship is not a romance movie.

At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in films, television, and novels.
For some reason, I always thought my romantic relationships were less if I did not experience this kind of fairy-tale relationship. Maybe this is why I kept meeting frogs.
At times, I bought into the belief that if I had a relationship with the perfect prince, then all would be well in my life. I thought, Now, I will be safe forever.
In truth, I did marry a prince—but a prince who is also human, who has faults and issues just like every person, no matter how wonderful he is.
At some point I grew up and learned to let go of the crazy metaphor of romantic love in order to find true happiness. Yes, I was disappointed to realize that the knight riding through the night to save the damsel in distress is a fallacy. It’s a bummer.
But, let’s look at it in this light: We all saw Romeo and Juliet and Titanic. Why stories like these make our hearts sing is that the love is unrequited. Unavailability fuels the romantic expression.

This kind of romantic story can only work when there is an absence of the lover. Sometimes, they have to die in the end in order for their love to fit into this romantic view. Or, we eat handfuls of popcorn, waiting to see if they live happily ever after, and we rarely find out if they really do.
The romantic love fantasy is really a substitute for intimacy—real, connected, vulnerable intimacy.
So then, how do we make relationships work and stay happy?
We begin with the understanding of what pure love is, and then redefine and update the romantic fairytale into a healthier type of love.
Here are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship:

1. Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.

Relationships aren’t about having another person complete you, but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and becoming “one,” you learn as Rainer Maria Rilke says, to love the distances in relationship as much as the togetherness.

2. See your partner for who he or she really is.


The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. When you realize that more often than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.

3. Be willing to learn from each other.

The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.

4. Get comfortable being alone.

In order to accept that love can’t rescue you from being alone, learn to spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole.

5. Look closely at why a fight may begin.


Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting—and likely will fight far less.

6. Own who you are.


We generally grasp at romantic love because we’re yearning for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we don’t think we possess in ourselves. Unfortunately, when we finally get love, we discover that we didn’t get what we were looking for.
True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.

7. Embrace ordinariness.

After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that ordinariness can become the real “juice” of intimacy. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.

8. Expand your heart.

One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you.
It’s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in yourself.

9. Focus on giving love.

Genuine happiness is not about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us; it’s more about how well we have loved ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.

10. Let go of expectations.

You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else.
Draw upon your own inner-resources to offer love, attention, and nurturance to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.

Thursday, 5 December 2013

SIX DESTINY BOOSTER FOR YOUTH

1 you can not fulfill your destiny without people input 
2 your destiny is fire and your passion is the gas which you use to fuel it
3 pride can destroy your destiny
4 many fail because they fail to discover their talent
5 your have what it takes to fulfill god destiny 
6 your friend can destroy your destiny so watch who you go out with

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

help someone today

how many people i this world have the  idea of what it takes to become a problem solver you can solve the problems of many people by contributing to this site. tell people how you overcome your own problem.
 you can follow me  on twitter @hizisk

How to develop and demonstrate your problem-solving skills

How to develop and demonstrate your problem-solving skills

We all solve problems on a daily basis, in academic situations, at work and in our day-to-day lives. 
Some of the problems that are typically faced by students include:Angry man on computer
  • Putting together an argument for an essay
  • Debugging a computer program
  • Dealing with an awkward customer when working part-time in a shop or restaurant
  • Thinking about how you are going to manage your budget to keep you going until the end of term
  • Working out why your printer won’t respond
  • Developing a strategy to reach the next level of a computer game.

Any job will also bring problems to be faced. It is important to show to a recruiter that you have the right skills to resolve these problems, and the personal resilience to handle the challenges and pressure they may bring.
You need to be able to:
Problems can also be opportunities: they allow you to see things differently and to do things in a different way: perhaps to make a fresh start.
  • Evaluate information or situations
  • Break them down into their key components
  • Consider various ways of approaching and resolving them
  • Decide on the most appropriate of these ways

Solving these problems involves both analytical and creative skills. Which particular skills are needed will vary, depending on the problem and your role in the organisation, but the following skills are key to problem-solving:
A large cosmetics company had a problem that some of the soap boxes coming off the production lines were empty. The problem was quickly isolated to the assembly line, which transported the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department: some soap boxes went through the assembly line empty.
The management asked its engineers to solve the problem. They spent much time and money in devising an X-ray machine with high-res monitors manned by staff to watch all the boxes on the line to make sure they weren't empty.
A workman hearing about this, came up with another solution. He got a powerful industrial fan and pointed it at the assembly line. As each soap box passed the fan, the empty boxes were blown off the line. Moral: the simplest solution is usually the best!

Analytical and critical thinking skills help you to evaluate the problem and to make decisions. A logical and methodical approach is best in some circumstances: for example, you will need to be able to draw on your academic or subject knowledge to identify solutions of a practical or technical nature.
In other situations, using creativity or lateral thinking will be necessary to to come up with ideas for resolving the problem and find fresh approaches 
Not everyone has these two types of skills in equal measure: for this reason, team working is often a key component in problem-solving. Further skills, such as communicationpersuasion andnegotiation, are important in finding solutions to problems involving people.

Whatever issue you are faced with, some steps are fundamental:identify-define-examine-act-look-IDEAL
  • Identify the problem
  • Define the problem
  • Examine the options
  • Act on a plan
  • Look at the consequences

This is the IDEAL model of problem-solving.
The final stage is to put the solution you have decided on into practice and check the results.

Developing your analytical and problem-solving skills

Most problem-solving skills are developed through everyday life and experience. However, the following interests and activities may be useful in demonstrating a high level of these skills - this may be particularly important when applying to employers in areas such as engineering, IT, operational research and some areas of finance.
  • ‘Mind games’ such as cryptic crosswords, Sudoku, chess, bridge, etc;
  • Computer games – the best of these can involve strategic planning, critical and statistical analysis and assessing the pros and cons of different courses of action;
  • ‘Practical’ interests such as programming, computer repairs, car maintenance, or DIY;
  • Working with sound or lighting equipment for a band, event or show;
  • Academic study: evaluating different sources of information for essays, designing and constructing a ‘microshelter’ for an architecture project; setting up a lab experiment.

There are several stages to solving a problem:problem solving

1) Evaluating the problem

  • Clarifying the nature of a problem
  • Formulating questions
  • Gathering information systematically
  • Collating and organising data
  • Condensing and summarising information
  • Defining the desired objective

2) Managing the problem

  • Using the information gathered effectively
  • Breaking down a problem into smaller, more manageable, parts
  • Using techniques such as brainstorming and lateral thinking to consider options
  • Analysing these options in greater depth
  • Identifying steps that can be taken to achieve the objective

3) Decision-making

  • deciding between the possible options for what action to take
  • deciding on further information to be gathered before taking action
  • deciding on resources (time, funding, staff etc) to be allocated to this problem
  • See our page on decision-making skills

4) Resolving the problem

  • Implementing action
  • Providing information to other stakeholders; delegating tasks
  • Reviewing progress

5) Examining the results

  • Monitoring the outcome of the action taken
  • Reviewing the problem and problem-solving process to avoid similar situations in future

At any stage of this process, it may be necessary to return to an earlier stage – for example, if further problems arise or if a solution does not appear to be working as desired.problem solving

Problem-solving skills and graduate jobs: what do recruiters want?

Analytical ability, problem solving skills and using initiative are among the top ten skills for recruiters of graduates.  They want people who will take the personal responsibility to make sure targets are met; who can see that there might be a better way of doing something and who are prepared to research and implement change; people who don’t panic or give up when things go wrong but who will seek a way around the problem.
These problems may be similar to academic problems (e.g. in scientific research) or may be more “practical” problems such as those involved in people management.
These skills can be asked for in a variety of ways.  Many job ads will simply ask for candidates who “can take the initiative" or "have the ability to resolve problems"; others, however, may not make it so clear.  You have to learn to interpret phrases like:
  • “Someone keen to take responsibility and with the confidence to challenge established practices and come up with new ways of working…”
  •  “An enquiring mind and the ability to understand and solve complex challenges are necessary…”
  • “We are looking for innovative minds and creative spirits ...”
  • “We need ambitious graduates who will respond with enthusiasm to every issue they face…”

These quotes from employers’ job adverts on graduate websites are all asking for essentially the same two things:
  • The ability to use your own initiative, to think for yourself, to be creative and pro-active.
  • The ability to resolve problems, to think logically and/or laterally, to use ingenuity to overcome difficulties and to research and implement solutions.
These qualities help graduates to make a difference to their employer, whether that employer provides a service or manufactures a product.

How will they assess these skills?

Think of PROBLEMS asdanger = opportunityCHALLENGES


In Chinese the character for danger and opportunity is the same. Wellmaybe not but it sounds good!

On application forms

If analytical or problem-solving skills are a key part of the job, there is likely to be a question on the application form which asks you to give evidence of your competency in these areas, such as:
  • Describe a situation in which you analysed data and solved a complex problem;
  • Describe a complex problem you have faced and the steps that you took to solve it;
  • Describe a setback in your life and say what you did to overcome it. What lessons did you learn from this?
  • Describe a time when you demonstrated creativity in solving a difficult problem;
  • Describe a time when you provided a new or different solution to a problem;
  • Give me a specific example of a time when you used good judgment and logic in solving a problem;
  • Describe a difficult problem that you have solved.  State how you decided which were the critical issues, say what you did and what your solution was.  What other approaches could you have taken?
  • Give an example of a problem you have solved that required analysis. What methods did you use and what conclusions did you reach?

When answering these questions, cover the process you used to solve the problem rather than just outlining the problem itself. Give examples of how you usedinitiative/creativity, or made effective use of resources, in solving the problem. It is also useful to say what you learned from this process, especially if the problem was not resolved to your complete satisfaction.
Employers may follow up on your answers to these questions at interview: see below.
There is further information about competency-based questions such as this at www.kent.ac.uk/careers/compet/skillquest.htm

Evidence you could give to an employer to convince them that you have problem-solving skills

Examples could come from your course, extra-curricular activities such as student societies, school, work or work experience, year-in-industry placements, travel or other sources.
EXAMPLES:labyrinth
  • Analysing data from a project or experiment
  • Working as a “troubleshooter” on a computer helpdesk
  • Advising a client at the Kent Law Clinic
  • Implementing a new filing system in an office job
  • Acting as a student rep
  • Dealing with staff problems or unexpected staff shortages in a part-time job
  • Coping with living on a limited student budget

Putting the evidence onto an application form


Give an example of a time when you have successfully resolved a complex problem:
1: Describe a situation from the last five years when you demonstrated effective use the skill you have chosen:
In the sixth form, I took part with two friends in a “Robot Challenge” competition. The brief was to design and build a robot that could perform a dance routine synchronised with a music soundtrack.
2: What action did you have to take?
My responsibility was to control the movement of the robot through the sensors and actuators. This was a complex task because of the number of movements that the robot was required to execute and the different stimuli to which it had to respond. In addition, the robot proved particularly sensitive to changes in light levels and I needed to experiment with a number of adaptations to discover the optimum balance between responsiveness and reliability.
3: What was the result of your action?
Our team achieved second place in the local competition and progressed to the regional final, where we came fifth out of 25 teams.

Through psychometric tests

A study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests you are more likely to succeed if you solve a difficult problem on another person’s behalf rather than for yourself. One of the problems was:
A prisoner was attempting to escape from a tower. He found a rope in his cell that was half as long enough to permit him to reach the ground safely. He divided the rope in half, tied the two parts together, and escaped. How could he have done this?
Students were asked to think of either themselves or a stranger stuck in the tower. 66% of the students who imagined a stranger in the tower, found the solution compared with 48% of those who envisaged themselves in the tower. THe authors said if we imagine that our problems belong to someone else, we might find better solutions. The solution, by the way is to split the rope lengthwise.
The most common of these tests involve verbal and numerical reasoning: you may also encounterdiagrammatic reasoning and critical thinking tests. They may be administered online at an early stage of the selection process, or at first interview or assessment centres. There is a great deal of information about these tests at www.kent.ac.uk/careers/psychotests.htm

At interview

Further questioning on the answers given on your application form

If your application form has included competency-based questions such as the ones above, you can expect the employer to ask for more detail about the problem or the situation and the way that you went about finding a solution. Be prepared to be asked about alternative ways in which you might have gone about tackling this problem and what you would have done if things hadn’t worked out. 

Hypothetical questions

Competency-based questions ask you about actions that you have taken in the past: hypothetical questions ask you about the course of action you might take in the event of some fictional situation, often work-related.
  • "How would you deal with a staff member who persistently arrives late and takes regular, unauthorised, breaks from work for a cigarette?”
  • "You are working on the till in a retail store when a customer’s credit card is refused. The cardholder is a regular customer who is trying to buy a present for their mother’s birthday the following day. How would you deal with this situation?"
  • "Your manager regularly leaves you in charge of a small office in his absence. The other staff regularly complain to you about the way he runs things, and how irritated they are by his interference in their day-to-day work - what do you do?"
  • "You work in a company that manufactures meat pies and pasties. Sales have been falling for several years and you are asked to come up with ideas to revive the company”

There is usually no right or wrong answer to these questions: the interviewers are seeking to assess your logical thinking and common sense. You may need to ask questions to clarify the situation and gather more information. You can expect your answers to be challenged, the interviewers asking questions such as:

Needle Stack


The only thing harder than looking for a needle in a hay stack is looking for a needle in a needle stack!
  • “Yes, but what if …?”
  • “Have you thought about ….?”
  • “Why would you do that …?”

This doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with the answer you have given – just that the interviewers are trying to find out how you have arrived at your solution to the problem. They may also be testing you out to see how you cope with pressure and how well you can argue a point.
Although the situation is hypothetical, if you have been faced with any similar situation in real life you can use this, and the way that you handled it then, to support your answer.
For further information on handling hypothetical questions, see www.kent.ac.uk/careers/intervw.htm#Hypothetical

Technical questions

These are most commonly asked at interviews for science, engineering and IT posts. They may relate to your previous relevant work experience or to a student project, or may relate to hypothetical situations as in the examples below:
  • “The scenario was that we were in charge of lighting a theatre.   We were given different conditions as to what type of problem could be caused by various faults in the lighting plan and who this problem would affect e.g. lighting technician, stage manager or director. There was only ever one problem with the lighting plan. It got harder as different conditions were added to the original ones and you had to take more and more information into consideration, such as: certain lights need to always be turned on first; some lights need to be warmed up in the breaks; different lights create different effects”
  • “I was asked to suggest a route to synthesise ethylene glycol – one of the company’s products” (Chemistry graduate interviewed by petrochemicals company)
  • “If I were organising a national cancer screening campaign, what standards/ precautions/ feasibility/ practicality checks would I do before implementing the scheme?”  (Medical physicist)
  • “They asked technical questions mainly to work out my thought process on problem solving, there was no correct answer as long as they were logical and eventually you had to come to a point where you gave up and admitted defeat!” 
    (Graduate interviewed for IT support post with NHS trust)

How to develop and demonstrate your problem-solving skills

How to develop and demonstrate your problem-solving skills

We all solve problems on a daily basis, in academic situations, at work and in our day-to-day lives. 
Some of the problems that are typically faced by students include:Angry man on computer
  • Putting together an argument for an essay
  • Debugging a computer program
  • Dealing with an awkward customer when working part-time in a shop or restaurant
  • Thinking about how you are going to manage your budget to keep you going until the end of term
  • Working out why your printer won’t respond
  • Developing a strategy to reach the next level of a computer game.

Any job will also bring problems to be faced. It is important to show to a recruiter that you have the right skills to resolve these problems, and the personal resilience to handle the challenges and pressure they may bring.
You need to be able to:
Problems can also be opportunities: they allow you to see things differently and to do things in a different way: perhaps to make a fresh start.
  • Evaluate information or situations
  • Break them down into their key components
  • Consider various ways of approaching and resolving them
  • Decide on the most appropriate of these ways

Solving these problems involves both analytical and creative skills. Which particular skills are needed will vary, depending on the problem and your role in the organisation, but the following skills are key to problem-solving:
A large cosmetics company had a problem that some of the soap boxes coming off the production lines were empty. The problem was quickly isolated to the assembly line, which transported the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department: some soap boxes went through the assembly line empty.
The management asked its engineers to solve the problem. They spent much time and money in devising an X-ray machine with high-res monitors manned by staff to watch all the boxes on the line to make sure they weren't empty.
A workman hearing about this, came up with another solution. He got a powerful industrial fan and pointed it at the assembly line. As each soap box passed the fan, the empty boxes were blown off the line. Moral: the simplest solution is usually the best!

Analytical and critical thinking skills help you to evaluate the problem and to make decisions. A logical and methodical approach is best in some circumstances: for example, you will need to be able to draw on your academic or subject knowledge to identify solutions of a practical or technical nature.
In other situations, using creativity or lateral thinking will be necessary to to come up with ideas for resolving the problem and find fresh approaches 
Not everyone has these two types of skills in equal measure: for this reason, team working is often a key component in problem-solving. Further skills, such as communicationpersuasion andnegotiation, are important in finding solutions to problems involving people.

Whatever issue you are faced with, some steps are fundamental:identify-define-examine-act-look-IDEAL
  • Identify the problem
  • Define the problem
  • Examine the options
  • Act on a plan
  • Look at the consequences

This is the IDEAL model of problem-solving.
The final stage is to put the solution you have decided on into practice and check the results.

Developing your analytical and problem-solving skills

Most problem-solving skills are developed through everyday life and experience. However, the following interests and activities may be useful in demonstrating a high level of these skills - this may be particularly important when applying to employers in areas such as engineering, IT, operational research and some areas of finance.
  • ‘Mind games’ such as cryptic crosswords, Sudoku, chess, bridge, etc;
  • Computer games – the best of these can involve strategic planning, critical and statistical analysis and assessing the pros and cons of different courses of action;
  • ‘Practical’ interests such as programming, computer repairs, car maintenance, or DIY;
  • Working with sound or lighting equipment for a band, event or show;
  • Academic study: evaluating different sources of information for essays, designing and constructing a ‘microshelter’ for an architecture project; setting up a lab experiment.

There are several stages to solving a problem:problem solving

1) Evaluating the problem

  • Clarifying the nature of a problem
  • Formulating questions
  • Gathering information systematically
  • Collating and organising data
  • Condensing and summarising information
  • Defining the desired objective

2) Managing the problem

  • Using the information gathered effectively
  • Breaking down a problem into smaller, more manageable, parts
  • Using techniques such as brainstorming and lateral thinking to consider options
  • Analysing these options in greater depth
  • Identifying steps that can be taken to achieve the objective

3) Decision-making

  • deciding between the possible options for what action to take
  • deciding on further information to be gathered before taking action
  • deciding on resources (time, funding, staff etc) to be allocated to this problem
  • See our page on decision-making skills

4) Resolving the problem

  • Implementing action
  • Providing information to other stakeholders; delegating tasks
  • Reviewing progress

5) Examining the results

  • Monitoring the outcome of the action taken
  • Reviewing the problem and problem-solving process to avoid similar situations in future

At any stage of this process, it may be necessary to return to an earlier stage – for example, if further problems arise or if a solution does not appear to be working as desired.problem solving

Problem-solving skills and graduate jobs: what do recruiters want?

Analytical ability, problem solving skills and using initiative are among the top ten skills for recruiters of graduates.  They want people who will take the personal responsibility to make sure targets are met; who can see that there might be a better way of doing something and who are prepared to research and implement change; people who don’t panic or give up when things go wrong but who will seek a way around the problem.
These problems may be similar to academic problems (e.g. in scientific research) or may be more “practical” problems such as those involved in people management.
These skills can be asked for in a variety of ways.  Many job ads will simply ask for candidates who “can take the initiative" or "have the ability to resolve problems"; others, however, may not make it so clear.  You have to learn to interpret phrases like:
  • “Someone keen to take responsibility and with the confidence to challenge established practices and come up with new ways of working…”
  •  “An enquiring mind and the ability to understand and solve complex challenges are necessary…”
  • “We are looking for innovative minds and creative spirits ...”
  • “We need ambitious graduates who will respond with enthusiasm to every issue they face…”

These quotes from employers’ job adverts on graduate websites are all asking for essentially the same two things:
  • The ability to use your own initiative, to think for yourself, to be creative and pro-active.
  • The ability to resolve problems, to think logically and/or laterally, to use ingenuity to overcome difficulties and to research and implement solutions.
These qualities help graduates to make a difference to their employer, whether that employer provides a service or manufactures a product.

How will they assess these skills?

Think of PROBLEMS asdanger = opportunityCHALLENGES


In Chinese the character for danger and opportunity is the same. Wellmaybe not but it sounds good!

On application forms

If analytical or problem-solving skills are a key part of the job, there is likely to be a question on the application form which asks you to give evidence of your competency in these areas, such as:
  • Describe a situation in which you analysed data and solved a complex problem;
  • Describe a complex problem you have faced and the steps that you took to solve it;
  • Describe a setback in your life and say what you did to overcome it. What lessons did you learn from this?
  • Describe a time when you demonstrated creativity in solving a difficult problem;
  • Describe a time when you provided a new or different solution to a problem;
  • Give me a specific example of a time when you used good judgment and logic in solving a problem;
  • Describe a difficult problem that you have solved.  State how you decided which were the critical issues, say what you did and what your solution was.  What other approaches could you have taken?
  • Give an example of a problem you have solved that required analysis. What methods did you use and what conclusions did you reach?

When answering these questions, cover the process you used to solve the problem rather than just outlining the problem itself. Give examples of how you usedinitiative/creativity, or made effective use of resources, in solving the problem. It is also useful to say what you learned from this process, especially if the problem was not resolved to your complete satisfaction.
Employers may follow up on your answers to these questions at interview: see below.
There is further information about competency-based questions such as this at www.kent.ac.uk/careers/compet/skillquest.htm

Evidence you could give to an employer to convince them that you have problem-solving skills

Examples could come from your course, extra-curricular activities such as student societies, school, work or work experience, year-in-industry placements, travel or other sources.
EXAMPLES:labyrinth
  • Analysing data from a project or experiment
  • Working as a “troubleshooter” on a computer helpdesk
  • Advising a client at the Kent Law Clinic
  • Implementing a new filing system in an office job
  • Acting as a student rep
  • Dealing with staff problems or unexpected staff shortages in a part-time job
  • Coping with living on a limited student budget

Putting the evidence onto an application form


Give an example of a time when you have successfully resolved a complex problem:
1: Describe a situation from the last five years when you demonstrated effective use the skill you have chosen:
In the sixth form, I took part with two friends in a “Robot Challenge” competition. The brief was to design and build a robot that could perform a dance routine synchronised with a music soundtrack.
2: What action did you have to take?
My responsibility was to control the movement of the robot through the sensors and actuators. This was a complex task because of the number of movements that the robot was required to execute and the different stimuli to which it had to respond. In addition, the robot proved particularly sensitive to changes in light levels and I needed to experiment with a number of adaptations to discover the optimum balance between responsiveness and reliability.
3: What was the result of your action?
Our team achieved second place in the local competition and progressed to the regional final, where we came fifth out of 25 teams.

Through psychometric tests

A study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests you are more likely to succeed if you solve a difficult problem on another person’s behalf rather than for yourself. One of the problems was:
A prisoner was attempting to escape from a tower. He found a rope in his cell that was half as long enough to permit him to reach the ground safely. He divided the rope in half, tied the two parts together, and escaped. How could he have done this?
Students were asked to think of either themselves or a stranger stuck in the tower. 66% of the students who imagined a stranger in the tower, found the solution compared with 48% of those who envisaged themselves in the tower. THe authors said if we imagine that our problems belong to someone else, we might find better solutions. The solution, by the way is to split the rope lengthwise.
The most common of these tests involve verbal and numerical reasoning: you may also encounterdiagrammatic reasoning and critical thinking tests. They may be administered online at an early stage of the selection process, or at first interview or assessment centres. There is a great deal of information about these tests at www.kent.ac.uk/careers/psychotests.htm

At interview

Further questioning on the answers given on your application form

If your application form has included competency-based questions such as the ones above, you can expect the employer to ask for more detail about the problem or the situation and the way that you went about finding a solution. Be prepared to be asked about alternative ways in which you might have gone about tackling this problem and what you would have done if things hadn’t worked out. 

Hypothetical questions

Competency-based questions ask you about actions that you have taken in the past: hypothetical questions ask you about the course of action you might take in the event of some fictional situation, often work-related.
  • "How would you deal with a staff member who persistently arrives late and takes regular, unauthorised, breaks from work for a cigarette?”
  • "You are working on the till in a retail store when a customer’s credit card is refused. The cardholder is a regular customer who is trying to buy a present for their mother’s birthday the following day. How would you deal with this situation?"
  • "Your manager regularly leaves you in charge of a small office in his absence. The other staff regularly complain to you about the way he runs things, and how irritated they are by his interference in their day-to-day work - what do you do?"
  • "You work in a company that manufactures meat pies and pasties. Sales have been falling for several years and you are asked to come up with ideas to revive the company”

There is usually no right or wrong answer to these questions: the interviewers are seeking to assess your logical thinking and common sense. You may need to ask questions to clarify the situation and gather more information. You can expect your answers to be challenged, the interviewers asking questions such as:

Needle Stack


The only thing harder than looking for a needle in a hay stack is looking for a needle in a needle stack!
  • “Yes, but what if …?”
  • “Have you thought about ….?”
  • “Why would you do that …?”

This doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with the answer you have given – just that the interviewers are trying to find out how you have arrived at your solution to the problem. They may also be testing you out to see how you cope with pressure and how well you can argue a point.
Although the situation is hypothetical, if you have been faced with any similar situation in real life you can use this, and the way that you handled it then, to support your answer.
For further information on handling hypothetical questions, see www.kent.ac.uk/careers/intervw.htm#Hypothetical

Technical questions

These are most commonly asked at interviews for science, engineering and IT posts. They may relate to your previous relevant work experience or to a student project, or may relate to hypothetical situations as in the examples below:
  • “The scenario was that we were in charge of lighting a theatre.   We were given different conditions as to what type of problem could be caused by various faults in the lighting plan and who this problem would affect e.g. lighting technician, stage manager or director. There was only ever one problem with the lighting plan. It got harder as different conditions were added to the original ones and you had to take more and more information into consideration, such as: certain lights need to always be turned on first; some lights need to be warmed up in the breaks; different lights create different effects”
  • “I was asked to suggest a route to synthesise ethylene glycol – one of the company’s products” (Chemistry graduate interviewed by petrochemicals company)
  • “If I were organising a national cancer screening campaign, what standards/ precautions/ feasibility/ practicality checks would I do before implementing the scheme?”  (Medical physicist)
  • “They asked technical questions mainly to work out my thought process on problem solving, there was no correct answer as long as they were logical and eventually you had to come to a point where you gave up and admitted defeat!” 
    (Graduate interviewed for IT support post with NHS trust)