COPING WITH PEER PRESSURE ( Making a difference)

 

Peer pressure negative influence

Peer pressure is the direct or indirect influence on peers, i.e., members of social groups with similar interests, experiences, or social statuses. Members of a peer group are more likely to influence a person's beliefs, values, and behavior. A group or individual may be encouraged and want to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or behaviors to conform to those of the influencing group or individual.

Signs

Peer pressure can range from subtle to overt, which means that some forms of peer pressure can be easier to spot than others. Being able to identify signs of peer pressure may help you start a supportive conversation.

Some signs that your  may be experiencing peer pressure include:

• Avoiding school or other social situations
• Being very image-conscious¹
• Changes in behavior
• Expressing feeling like they don't fit in
• Low moods²
• Making social comparisons
• Trouble sleeping
• Trying out new hair or clothing styles

Many of the signs of peer pressure can also be signs of other things, like bullying or mental health concerns. Any changes in behavior or mood are worth investigating. 

Types of Peer Pressure

Most teens and youth have a strong desire to fit in and are especially sensitive to being picked on, made fun of, or ostracized. Consequently, they're often eager to do the things their peers tell them to do.³

Research has drawn attention to the significant role of peers in influencing prosocial behaviors. When peers endorse positive and altruistic behavior, young people are more likely to engage in those behaviors, even when their peers are not watching.

 

 

Positive Peer Pressure

Positive peer pressure is when someone's peers encourage them to do something positive or push them to grow in a beneficial way. 

Here are a few examples of positive peer pressure:

• Pushing a friend to study harder so they can get better grades
• Getting an after-school job and convincing friends to get a job too
• Saving money for a big purchase like a car and encouraging friends to do the same
• Disapproving of bigoted jokes or gossiping
• Discouraging illegal or risky behavior, like under-age drinking or smoking

Negative Peer Pressure

Negative peer pressure, on the other hand, involves pressure to do something dangerous or damaging to themselves or others. 

Here some examples of negative peer pressure:

• Convincing a friend to skip school
• Pushing someone to buy e-cigarettes online 
• Pressuring a friend to drink or try drugs
• Encouraging a peer to fight or bully someone

Impact of Peer Pressure

As a child develops older, their peers will play a bigger role in their life. Friends can influence everything from what kind of music they listen to, to what they wear, to how they talk.

Gender socialization may influence how receptive a young person is to peer pressure. Research indicates that adolescent boys are more susceptible to pressure for risk-taking behaviors.

Peer pressure isn't always deviant, though. Peer pressure can have both negative and positive impacts.

 

Benefits of peer pressure

• Advice: Friends can be a great support as kids try out new things, explore new ideas, or need someone to help them work through a challenging problem.
• Encouragement: Peers can push each other to do new things, like trying out for the soccer team or the school play. 
• Friendship and support: Feeling supported by someone who accepts us for who we are can boost self-esteem.
• Gaining new experiences: Sometimes we need a little shove to do something we really want to do but don't quite have the courage.
• Modeling good examples: Friends help each other be better people when they frown upon negative behaviors like gossiping or insensitive jokes and instead encourage positive behaviors.  
• Practicing socialization: Learning about different social norms helps us know how to adapt to different situations and decide which groups we want to spend time with and which ones we don't.

Drawbacks

• Anxiety and depression: Being around people who pressure us to do things we aren't comfortable with can make us feel anxious and depressed.²
• Arguments or distance from family and friends: Negative peer pressure tends to make us feel bad about ourselves, and this can cause us to withdraw from people we care about.
• Distractions from academics: Peer pressure can sometimes cause us to move our focus from our priorities because we're engaged in things we wouldn't normally do or distracted by thoughts about peer pressure.
• Pressure to engage in risky behavior: Friends may pressure each other to do things like drink, try illicit drugs, engage in unsafe sexual activity, or drive recklessly.  
• Problems with self-esteem and self-confidence: Constantly feeling pressure to do things that go against our values can make us feel bad about ourselves.
• Sudden changes in behavior: Trying to conform to a peer's norms might prompt a person start acting and looking like someone else. 
• Unhappiness with appearance: If our peers are fixating on appearance, we may feel inadequate and want to change how we look in order to fit in.

Relationships 10 Things Guys Should Do On A First Date

Ah, first dates. So nerve-wracking. If only you knew exactly what was going to happen, then you could plan out everything in advance. But first dates are kind of like playing the lottery. You gotta be in it to win it, but sometimes you end up empty-handed. If you’re a woman, you know these sort of situations don’t always go so smoothly. If you’re a guy, here are 10 tips that can make the first date easier on all of us. Take Charge. We do not want to decide where to go. We will never tell you this, but it is true. Ask us what kind of place and/or food we like; then, pick a place like that. Do not leave it up to us to choose. You are the man. Act like one.
Smile. When we arrive, smile. Maybe you are a tough guy. Maybe you are nervous. Maybe you are paralyzed. Either way, smile. Women are strange, exotic, intuitive creatures, and we respond well to positive reinforcement. Do not glower.
Mind Your Body Language. If your legs are crossed and your hand is over your mouth, we will unconsciously think you are hiding something. If you are sprawled out all over with your legs spread wide and your hands behind your head, we will think you are a slob or generally loose. Sit up straight, lean in closer, and keep your hands where we can see them.
Ask Questions. This seems obvious, but it’s surprising how many men don’t do this. You know what women like? Attention. Also, kittens, flowers, and cupcakes. Nothing else. If you seem curious about the woman sitting across from you, she will like it. For sure.
Listen. You can’t just ask a bunch of questions, and then not listen to the answers. They call this a “date,” but, really, for women, it’s more like a “test.” If you emailed or talked on the phone beforehand, remember what the hell she told you about herself. If you forget, we will feel angry and want to leave. Then you will be sorry.
Use Flattery, Appropriately. If at some point during our meeting, you tell us we are “beautiful,” “attractive,” or “pretty,” we will like you better than if you didn’t. It’s. Just. That. Simple.
Act Right, Boy. We really do not care if you are secretly neurotic, deeply insecure, or mildly nuts. We are interested in how you portray yourself. Act confident, interested, engaged, self-assured, ambitious, and happy. We like that. Thanks.
No Pawing Allowed. If you’re going to score with us at some point, we will let you know. Trust. Occasional physical contact is OK — a hand to the small of the back, a touch of the thigh, a brief holding of the arm while making a point. Do not grab anywhere in the red light zones. If we want your hands there, we will put them there.
Pay. Feminism, shmeminism. Take care of the bill without comment. That is what we want. Wave off any offer to go dutch. We lied. We don’t want to pay half.
Say Goodnight. Don’t meander off into the night. Do something. What that is is up to you: a handshake, a hug, a kiss. Do it right? You might get a second date.